haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
