playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
