so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
