She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We left the knife in your bed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize