I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
