i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize