i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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