I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
