i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
