Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
