member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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