I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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