I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
