I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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