McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
two words...techno handjob
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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