When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
