ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
