It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
