We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
