i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
