Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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