Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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