honey bunches of taint.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
