look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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