You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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