That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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