It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
