Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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