I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize