i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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