Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
