i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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