$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
