toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
