I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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