wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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