Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
