oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
