how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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