You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
