I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You took a bar mat shot.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
