Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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