I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Randomize
