I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
