My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
