i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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