so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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