hotel room ftw
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
