you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
