So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
