Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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