I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
