Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
