so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
