that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
