do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize