With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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