he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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