She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
