How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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