I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
