dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
